Thursday's Random Thoughts
If I thought I was blowing dust off my blog, last time, then right now I am wiping the layer of grime that accumulates when something has been allowed to catch dust for far too long. Today I feel a need to write. The urge strikes me, now and again, especially when I am feeling emotional or upset. Today, I also felt a strong urge to connect with my most influential female family members. Sadly, they are no longer with me, in the physical sense, so I headed to the basement where I keep my mom, and grandma, memorabilia... if you will. I have boxes of letters, scrapbooks from my mom's theater days, poetry she wrote, artwork, photographs, etc. As I was reading some of the letters, my mom and grandparents wrote back and forth while she was attending the Dayton Art Institute, it occurred to me how tremendous the love that they had for each other truly was. Anyone that knows me knows how terribly much I miss my mother. I miss my grandparents, as well, because they were such a huge presence in my life. I will come back to that later but for now..... my mom. She gave me such an amazing childhood. I know how truly blessed I was to have that childhood. Not everyone is as fortunate. I grew up in a home full of love and encouragement. I had two parents that were extremely in love so I witnessed, and learned, affection between a husband and wife. I even had a pony for goodness sake! It does not get any more quintessential than that! Tragically, at least to my story, she was taken from us at the ripe young age of 42. I was 18. The childhood fairytale ends there. Luckily, for me, I still had my amazing grandparents. Grandma for 3 more years, and Grandpa for 10 more years. My future changed entirely. I was scheduled to leave for basic training on July 12th, 1993. The day after her birthday, and just three short months before she passed away. Even though nobody would admit it, we all knew the inevitable so I requested a discharge from the military. There was no way I could leave under those circumstances. I was my mom's only child. After she passed I just could not bring myself to leave my grandma and grandpa. So into the workforce and Lakeland Community College it was.
Oops..... getting a little off topic there. Back to the original point of this blog entry... Mom and Grandma. My mom was a wonderful person. She was compassionate, beautiful, intelligent, talented. She was the kind of person that people standing in line behind her in the grocery store line felt compelled to tell their life stories to... and she listened... she listened and she cared! And then somehow that person was her new best friend!! Haha. A little exaggeration there but not much! I remember one time we were shopping in the grocery store where the Craft & Antique Co Op is now. I think it was a Giant Eagle at that time. A man struck up a conversation about the items in her cart. He looked over our soon to be purchases and told her he wished he was coming to our house for dinner. He then proceeded to ask her on a date. She thanked him and said, "That is very sweet but I am a happily married woman!" Ultimate respect! Props to the momma.
My grandma was wonderful, too, but in a different way. Where my mom loved everybody, almost to a fault, you had to earn my grandma's respect. She didn't love everybody right from the get, in fact you were lucky if she kinda liked you until you earned that respect and place in her world. She was smart, as a whip, and also extremely talented. She was also very hip and had a great sense of humor. You never knew what might come out of her mouth because she spoke her mind. If you didn't like it she really didn't care that much. Grandma did not take crap from anyone. She attended The Andrews School, as a girl, and later earned her teaching degree from Lake Erie College. She retired a high school art teacher. Oh yeah! Did I mention they were both artists. Someone that had her as a teacher once told me that if a fight broke out in the hallway, Mrs. Kasper would be the one that was sure to be there getting in the middle of it to break it up. Makes me laugh because.... yep!!!! That was Grandma. She also loved, and protected, her family with a vengeance..... and was a fabulous cook!
I turned out to be a combination of the two. I won't bore you with a rundown of the specific qualities but I will thank my Mom for instilling compassion and Grandma for instilling the ability to recognize, and call out, the BS. So, when I need to be close to those special women, I open those boxes. You see, those boxes are full of truths. Truth in the form of emotions, from the heart, placed on paper by a pen. Truth in the form of the reminders of the accomplishments of their lives. Tangible truths. Fortunately, if I am in need of a verification of a memory I had, I have my Godmother. She was friends with my mom for as long as she can remember. They did theater together, they worked together, they lunched, daily, together. If anyone know my mom and her story.... it is Seabright. She knew my mom on a level that I did not even know her. She knew her dreams, her joys, her heartbreaks, and her secrets. She was her soul sister, her confidant, her best friend. I called on her, just yesterday, for clarity on a situation from the past. Thank you, Seabright, for always being there when I need you!
